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Monday December 11, 2017

Special Issue

In the haunted supermarket aisle lurk these creepy clowns

 

Psychologists call it "coulrophobia," a mass hysteria triggered by historically evil associations accompanying the anonymous deindivuation that comes with hiding behind a mask.

We call it "creepy clown" syndrome.

Whatever the explanation, it appears that the fear over potential mayham linked to these formerly lovable entertainers of our childhood is a real thing, even if the underlying danger isn't. And it all sounds a little too familiar to the recent reports of food dangers hiding in the aisles of your stores. So in Halloween tribute to the scariest innocents, Farmer Goes to Market offers this tribute to the top Creepy Clowns of the supermarket aisles.

 

Creepy Clowns of the Supermarket

High fructose corn syrup

Malice Sweet Malice

Lurking behind innocent labels, hiding in every food you carry from hotdog buns to baby cereal, this mead of menace will punch holes in your intestines and rot your liver from the inside out. Or so the frightening movie trailer says.

Genetically modified organisms

The PerplExorcist

Six in 10 American consumers don't know what they are, but 90 percent are sure it's out to get them. Where's the explanation for the epidemic of perplexing Monsantophobia?

Antibiotics

Evil Dr. Frank 'n' Beans

Up to 80 percent of all our antibiotics are pumped into the veins of innocent factory farmed animals, creating a poisonous stew of superbugs that will return us to the dark ages of pestilence. Sort of.

Hormones in meat

Amazon of the Fed

Metamorphosing unsuspecting little girls into libidinous circus freaks and little boys into semisoft lumps of couch-flesh, the toxic stew of steroids that farmers secretly implant into farm animals are destroying our children. (Not.)

Pesticides

Beware the Fog

A putrid green fog spreads across the food lands, and it's not the hot air coming from Michael Pollan. It's the millions of tons of bug- and weed-killer poured into rivers, lakes and foodies. What shoppers need to know about the fog of confusion.

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Partners

Supported by the Nebraska Farm Bureau

The farm and ranch families represented by Nebraska Farm Bureau are proud sponsors of the Farmer Goes to Market program. We take great pride in supporting Nebraska's agricultural foundation. A key part of that effort is to make sure we produce safe and affordable food. This newsletter is an important part of our effort to connect the two most important parts of the food chain -- the farmer and the grocer -- with the goal of increasing consumer awareness and information about how their food is raised in Nebraska.


In patnership with the Nebraska Grocery Industry Association

The Nebraska Grocery Industry Association was formed in 1903 by a group of Omaha grocery store owners, wholesalers and vendors to allow them to promote independent food merchants and members of the food industry, and to promote education and cooperation among its membership. NGIA continues to represent grocery store owners and operators, along with wholesalers and vendors located throughout Nebraska, by promoting their success through proactive government relations, innovative solutions and quality services. NGIA offers efficient and economical programs. NGIA also lobbies on both a state and national level, ensuring that the voice of the food industry in Nebraska is heard by our representatives.


Supported by the Nebraska Corn Board

The Nebraska Corn Board, on behalf of 23,000 corn farmers in Nebraska, invests in market development, research, promotion and education of corn and value-added products. The board aims to work closely with the farmer-to-consumer food chain, to educate everyone about the role corn has in our everyday healthy lives. The Nebraska Corn Board is proud to sponsor the Farmer Goes to Market program to help bring its mission of expanding demand and value of Nebraska corn to the consumer, through the strongest touch point in that chain: the Nebraska retail grocer.


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